1. Your job is to lead others to do the ministry

It’s amazing to me how many times people in ministry forget basic principles the scriptures teach; for instance that the job of the Church Staff is to “prepare God’s people for works of service,” (Ephesians 4:11-13). As a Church Staff Member no job should be beneath you, but at the same time you shouldn’t do every job either. In hiring too many staff to do the ministry there is a danger of robbing the church of the opportunity of being the church, and the church staff members of their God ordained role.

2. Think people first, roles second

Our tendency is to fill roles. We need so many volunteers in the children’s ministry to have the correct child to adult ratio, or greeters on campus, or people directing traffic in the parking lot. The list goes on and on. In fact I’ve even seen some church staff members become possessive of and selfish about their volunteers for fear of losing them to another ministry in the church. What if we actually looked at how people are gifted, what they are passionate about, and where they should be serving according to where God wants them as opposed to filling boxes on an org. chart or magic ratios that we’ve come up with?

3. Volunteering is Discipleship

Almost 20 years later, it is still a vivid memory for me to this day, it was the first time I led a Jr. High Small Group. I was scared to death. Not because they were Jr. Highers, but because I had to be prepared, I had to be further down the road than them and know what I was talking about. I grew so much by leading that Small Group. I think we forget how much spiritual growth takes place as a result of volunteering. Instead of viewing volunteering as filling roles to run a church, volunteering should be viewed as a part of the spiritual pathway of our churches. It’s a subtle yet significant shift that needs to be made in our thinking for the sake of the spiritual formation of the people that have been entrusted to us.

4. Leadership is more taught than caught

So never do ministry alone! Take people with you. Let them see how you interact with teams, make decisions, and lead behind closed doors. Give them access to meetings and people they would never get on their own. Then give them permission to ask questions about what they saw. These could be some of your best coaching opportunities that come up!

In church-world we most often excuse such things away by complaining about how we don’t have the financial resources that the big church down the street does. As a result there’s no way we can keep pace with their level of excellence, their billboards, mailers, websites, brochures, videos, promotional campaigns, and gobs of print media that they seemingly pump out every week.

I don’t think I’ve ever met a church staff member who would turn their nose up at the idea of having more resources to do their job. But, what if I told you that money won’t solve your communication problems? What I told you that there are real practical solutions and proven strategies that you can learn and implement that will cut through the clutter and crystalize your message?

In “Less Clutter. Less Noise. Beyond Bulletins, Brochures, and Bake Sales,” author Kem Meyer provides readers with practical steps, thought provoking questions, exercises to work through with your team, great lists, concrete real life examples, and compelling, compact, and transferable ideas. More than just a book about communication, this is a book about leading people to understand and embrace the greatest message the world has ever known. Simply put this is one of those books that you should have your whole staff read.

Here are some of my favorite quotes and ideas from the book that had an impact on me:

“Good communication is not so much about sending the right message as it is releasing the right response…It’s not what you say, it’s what people hear.”

“Advertising doesn’t create interest; at best, it creates awareness. And, that is not always a good thing. Cancer has awareness, and nobody wants that.”

“No one is immune an outsider’s perspective. It doesn’t matter if your ministry is progressive and contemporary, traditional and conservative, or relevant and real – we all have insiders that get in the way of outsiders experiencing Jesus.”

“…reach fewer people more times…”

“…what are you willing to do to learn about people who don’t see things the way you do?”

“The problem with communication is the illusion that it has been accomplished.”

“Spin is selfish manipulation for personal gain. Framing is selfless, requiring you to step out of the frame to look at the whole picture for the benefit of others.”

“Everything that touches your audience sends a message.”

“Enhancing productivity means embracing simplicity.”

“There is something bad about size and complexity. The more complex things are, the more fragile they are. If you have a stone, you can bang it. No problem. As soon as you play mousetrap, if any link in the chain is off, the whole system stops. Remember, simplify the problem. Don’t complicate the solution.”

“Your church has a message. A message of truth, hope and purpose. But, before people in your congregation or community encounter that message, they encounter your church.”

“It doesn’t matter if your music is great. Or, if you’ve got fantastic design skills. Or, if your pastor is the most intelligent person on the planet. If you customer service is average or bad, your church is replaceable.”

“Sometimes you have to trade efficiency for effectiveness.”

1. Losing my Job

Talk about a crazy and life shaping moment! First time that’s ever happened. Note to self…let’s not do that again.

2. Joining the Sun Valley Community Church Staff

I’m thrilled to be serving as an Executive Pastor at one of the most incredible churches in America.

3. Taking my girls on their first Mission Trip to Guatemala

This trip was the catalyst for all kinds of great conversations with my 6 & 7-year-old daughters. I hope that God uses it to nurture in them a passion for the nations!

4. Celebrating 15 Years of Marriage

A week in Hawaii was the perfect way to celebrate 15 years of marriage with Lisa. I love my kids…but 7 nights with no kids was a big win!

5. A Month Long visit with my Parents

I know, sounds like a nightmare to most people. But it was great having my parents spend a month with us. They’re wonderful grandparents and gave us the opportunity to head out to Hawaii. Thanks Mom and Dad!

6. Going Multi-Site

Moving from one campus to three this year has been an incredible moment to lead through. So excited that God trusted this opportunity to us!

7. Participating in a Coaching Group

This was the first time in a while that I’ve been in a structured learning environment. Jumping in Tony Morgan’s Coaching Group has pushed me to continue to grow and develop. Thanks Tony!

8. Coaching, Consulting, and Speaking

Speaking at conference workshops, camps, consulting with churches, and providing personal coaching never gets old. I love helping churches accomplish their vision!

Question:

What were the most influential moments of 2011 for you?

And finally here it is. Coming in as the #1 post of 2011, and honestly friends this one wasn't even close, "What Your Pastor isn't Telling You." This post won running away. After sitting on both sides of the desk as both an Executive Pastor and Lead Pastor of a couple of different mega-churches this post provides unique insight into the untold world of your Lead Pastor.

What your Pastor isn't Telling You

Most Lead Pastors come off as having it all under control. Never let ‘em see you sweat right? Nothing could be further from the truth. More often than not it’s more like the proverbial duck that on top of the water looks calm, cool, and collected; all the while under the water his little feet are frantically paddling for dear life. If you’ve never been a Lead Pastor before let me take a moment to help you understand what it’s like to live in their shoes and what often times is going on in their heart. My hope is that you’ll remember these truths the next time you get frustrated and are tempted to become critical of your Lead Pastor. And instead of pouring salt in a wound you’ll be the kind of Staff Member or Church Member who holds your Lead Pastor’s arms up and lightens their load.

1. Your Pastor Feels Overwhelmed by Criticism

People complain about the volume of the music, what I’m wearing, the temperature of the room, that you didn’t visit them in the hospital, that you don’t read from the right version of the Bible, that you’re not deep enough (although they don’t even know the names of their neighbors), that you're too deep, that I’m in the green room instead of the lobby, that while I’m in the lobby I didn’t say hi to them, that I didn’t remember their name even though I’ve only met them once never hung out with them and have 3,000 other names to know. People complain about other areas of ministry in the Church to them, and even if they handle this well and direct them to see the appropriate Staff Member, it creates a burden for them to carry. I’ve even heard friends of mine who are Pastors talk about having to have security guards follow them around for periods of time due to threats to them and their families. Or I love it when people say now Pastor this isn’t personal BUT…we think if you just did…fill in the blank (it’s not personal but?!!?!?!?). Okay, that might have been a bit of a rant.

2. Your Pastor Feels Pressure from Everywhere

Everybody seems to have expectations for Pastors to live up to and amazingly somehow know God’s will for their Pastor's life and the Church they’re leading. The Church Body has theirs; the Staff has theirs, the Elders, Deacons or whatever the governance structure is or who the decision makers happen to be have theirs. It comes from all sides. As a result many Pastors I talk to feel as though they’re not only fighting the Enemy, but their fighting the Family as well.

3. Your Pastor Frequently Feels like Quitting

Take a moment to do a quick internet search on “pastor burnout” and the results might shock you. You’ll find pages and pages of articles, statistics, and stories of literally hundreds of men leaving the ministry every single day. Just take a quick look below:

• CNNMoney.com posted an article listing 15 “Stressful Jobs That Pay Badly.” Included in this list are #5 “Music Ministry Director” and #10 “Minister.”

• Fifteen hundred pastors leave the ministry each month due to moral failure, spiritual burnout or contention in their churches.

• Eighty percent of pastors and eighty-four percent of their spouses feel unqualified and discouraged in their role as pastors.

• Fifty percent of pastors are so discouraged that they would leave the ministry if they could, but have no other way of making a living.

I’ve had conversations with Pastors from small churches, mega-churches, multi-site churches, church plants, established churches, contemporary churches, and traditional churches. Somewhere along the road they feel like giving up, some of them have thought about it so much that they even have a fallback plan. Over and over again I’ve heard the statement, “There isn’t a month that goes by that I don’t think about resigning.”

4. Your Pastor is often Confused about the Next Steps the Church should take

Your Church may have a clearly articulated Mission Statement, Values that are actionable, and a clear path and strategy to move people towards maturity but many Pastors still struggle with what next steps the Church should take. I’ve heard Pastor’s say:

“When my office door is closed and no one’s around I often feel confused about what’s next.”

“If God doesn’t show up we’re in trouble because I don’t know what to do next.”

“Here I am at the point of this thing and all of these people are looking to me for where we’re going and there are real moments when I feel like I have no clue where we’re going.”

Why Church Staff Change Churches

In reflecting about a major move that is coming up this summer for my family from Phoenix to Atlanta, my heart was stirred about why Church Staff change churches. And while this isn’t an exhaustive list, I thought it was a great place to start. So in no particular order, here is my top 10 list of “Why Church Staff Change Churches:”

1. They think bigger is better

Often Staff are enamored with a larger more attractive ministry down the street that seemingly offers them a greater opportunity for influence, personal development, name recognition, career advancement, a greater or broader impact, or better resources to do ministry.

2. They think the grass is greener on the other side

That is to say that they are in a perpetual search for the perfect church or Lead Pastor to serve under. Neither of which exist by the way. What they will end up discovering over time is that the real issue driving a lot of this is their own lack of personal contentment.

3. There was a poor interviewing and hiring process

Let's be honest with one another for a moment. Most churches don't have a great process in place for hiring people. Often Staff have been set up to fail from day one by the churches that hire them because they should have never been hired or placed in that particular role in the first place. They simply lack the chemistry, character, competency, or a host of other "C" words they need to do the job.

4. They are offered more pay and better benefits to go somewhere else

Has this every happened to you? After I left a church that I was working for they actually ended up paying the next guy more to replace me than what they were paying me. I wondered, what if I had quit and reapplied for the job, would they have given me the same raise? It is rightly said that the best people in an organization will always go out on their own two feet. You may not like the bottom line, but if you don't pay your top performers someone else will.

5. There is no vision or they don't agree with the vision

I can't tell you how many times I've had this conversation. Someone (usually in a 2nd, 3rd, or 4th chair role) thinks that God has called them to speak for the Lord and help their poor Lead Pastor understand that it is time for the vision to change because they don't agree with it. And they are just the person who has come down off of the mountain with the new blueprint for where the church should go next. Or on the other hand the vision is so unclear that people have a hard time understanding how to define success in their job, which leads to frustration, which leads to burnout. Either route you take you end up with a lot of frustration and an eventual job change.

6. They just can’t cut it and actually do the job at the required level

As a church grows often times if you are not careful the rate of growth can outpace the growth and development of the staff. Like shifting sand, the job description for your role literally can change and all of the sudden you can find yourself being asked to do things that you weren't being asked to do 3 years ago.

7. They don't feel appreciated

Often times very talented people simply are not put in the right seat on the bus. They are placed in a role that doesn't allow them to use their gifts, abilities, and play to their strengths. As a result they never get groomed or developed for the next challenge, they only get frustrated. Sadly many people in this situation are left feeling as though their boss or the organization they work in doesn't care about them. That they want something out of them or from them instead of something for them. The only thing more demotivating than not feeling as though you are making a real contribution in the work you're doing is not feeling like your supervisor believes you're the person to get the work done. Not feeling appreciated leads to going somewhere else where you do.

8. Conflict with their boss or other people

It's tough to give your all to an organization when you don't get along with the people you work with, where there is personality conflict with your boss, or you simply don't like the people in the office. It's important to remember that chemistry matters.

9. They get fired or downsized

This isn't the most motivating, inspiring, or exciting way to leave a church. In fact it's can be incredibly hurtful, humiliating, and even scary. But it is clear.

10. It’s God’s will

If you know God is calling you to something else, then that's a great reason to leave a church. But you better be pretty sure that it was God you heard talking and not the pizza you had at 2:00am before you start waving around the "God wills it" card.

So in your opinion why do you think Church Staff change churches? When is it okay to go, and when should you stick it out? Leave a comment below.

Stupid Things Christians Say

A year ago my family moved to the Metro Atlanta area. We hadn’t lived in the house for 15 minutes before we met our new next door neighbors, the Abbate Family. We would quickly learn about the loss of their son Luke, who was a sophmore at Harrison High School when he passed away 5 years ago as the result of being a passenger in tragic car wreck.

Before moving to Atlanta, we spent the previous year walking with some dear friends as their 5 year old daughter battled for her life against cancer. In fact I have previously blogged about the ongoing story of Kate McRae and her family.

More recently my family has been going through our own little mini-crisis, as out of the blue we discovered that we were going to be transitioning and have been looking for new job. Hardly comparable to the thought of potentially losing one of my children.

Through all of these moments and more what has amazed me is how inept so many Christians seem to be at expressing real heartfelt love and concern. I mean of all people who should know how to walk with and care for the hurting and the suffering it should be Christians right? I’m not saying they don’t care. And I’m not saying there haven’t been moments of genuine and at times even extravagant expressions of love poured out. But the reality is a sad majority of Christians honestly just don’t know what to do when others around them are going through crisis, and so they do nothing. Or worse they say something stupid. Here are my top 5:

1. How are you doing?

How do you think they’re doing? How would you be doing if you were walking in their shoes right now?

2. Everything is going to be alright.

Easy for you to say, you’re not living in it. Yes, it’s true. God does work all things together for the good for those that love Him (Romans 8). But that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt when you’re in the thick of it.

3. Is there any sin in your life?

Let’s just pour some more salt in that wound shall we. Really? Yes, people really say this stuff. Does God discipline His children, of course He does. He’s a good Father. But this isn’t where you want to start if you want to encourage someone.

4. I know how you feel.

No you don’t. You've never traveled what they're going through right now! Don’t say it if you really haven’t been there. And even then…probably not the most helpful thing to say to get the conversation started.

5. God won’t give you more than you can handle.

You got to love it when Christians take Scripture out of context. The truth is Jesus said in this world we will have all kinds of trouble. And guess what, at times it will feel like it is simply more than you can handle. That’s where grace comes in. Oh, and that verse that Christians like to quote other hurting Christians about God not giving you more than you can handle…it’s about God providing a way out of temptation not tragedy.

“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” I Corinthians 10:13

Guess what? Sometimes bad things do happen to good people. And God isn’t the cause of it…but He meets you there in the middle of it. It was sin for Joseph’s brothers to beat him up, throw him in a well, sell him into slavery, and lie to their father about it. God wasn’t the cause of that, his brother’s jealousy was. But God did walk with Joseph through it, and yes He even used it to prepare Joseph for some big stuff to come. Check out Genesis 37 & 39-45

If you know someone going through real tragedy let me encourage you. Sometimes the best thing you can do is just be there. Recently my family was leaving church and someone recognized us. She came up to us and said she had been praying diligently for us and asked if she could take us to lunch. And lunch with our three kids isn’t always cheap (they can put away some food). We sat there, ate lunch, and talked about normal stuff i.e. tree houses, Rock Band, and school. She wasn’t trying to solve the problem or probe and get the scoop. She was just there and expressed real love and concern in a tangible way.

You know, as soon as my neighbor mentioned the story of his son to me I new who he was, and I knew the story. You see, being an avid College Football fan I remember ESPN running a story on Wake Forest and their star linebacker Jon Abbate, who would go on to play in the NFL. That year Wake was picked to finish last in the ACC. And in what turned out to be a Cinderella Story of a season they went on to win the ACC. Their story has just been turned into a movie called “The 5th Quarter.” In fact you can check out the trailer below, as well as a clip from the original piece ESPN did on Wake Forest and the Abbate Family.

Fighting the Sin of becoming a Boring Church Part-2

Broken Window Theory is the idea that your environment tells you to act. That is to say, if you live in a community with run down dilapidated buildings, with broken windows, graffiti, and trash on the streets it affects your ideas, feelings, and ultimately your behavior. In the 1980’s New York City was at the height of one the worst crime epidemics in its history. In particular perhaps one of the worst places to be, was on the New York Subway. As a result, in the mid 80’s the New York Transit Authority hired George Kelling as a consultant to help with the problem. He urged them to go about combating crime in a unique manner. Clean up the subway, literally. Get rid of the trash and the graffiti. Then they began going after fare beating, people who jumped the turnstile to sneak onto the Subway without paying. Two incredibly small, non-essential, seemingly inconsequential items when you’re talking about fighting an epidemic of crime. But guess what happened. The environment of the Subway changed and with it so did the criminal behavior on the Subway. 

We all know that the environment we place people in matters. And when we’re dealing with heaven and hell and not simply selling more lattes, cars, clothes, or fast food it matters all the more. Below are four simple criteria to consider when building your environments:

#1 Cultural Relevance

The best example that comes to mind is the missionary legend Hudson Taylor. Who went against all ministry norms of the time and lived among the Chinese people. Taking on their dress, style, culture, customs, and language all in an attempt to communicate the Gospel in an understandable fashion. You see this isn’t about being cool. The goal isn’t cool. The goal is tearing down hurdles to people’s hearts, and doing anything short of sin to set the table for the Holy Spirit to work in the hearts of people.

#2 God’s Word must be Central

The clearest revealed message from God that we have is His Word. And it is the claims, stories, statements, principles and truths of the scripture that demand a response from the hearers. God’s Word literally sets the environment for life change and spiritual growth to happen. Because it is God’s Word, His revealed message to us, that cuts to the heart of man and accomplishes the will of God.

#3 God’s People must be Obedient

The Proverbs teach us that you become who you hang out with. That’s why perhaps one of the best tools we have to set the environment is God’s people themselves and the lives they live. Conversely there is nothing compelling about a complaining, critical, non-engaged, hearer of the Word, but not a doer of the Word, who say they have a passion for God and compassion for all but you’d never be able to tell it by their attitude, actions, how they spend their time or their money, or how they treat their neighbor. There’s nothing compelling about that…no one outside of the Church is looking for religion.

#4 Excellence Matters

The practical reality is that there is nothing compelling about things that are done half way. The old Youth Pastor adage holds true in this conversation: Don’t donate your used couch to the Youth Group…if it’s not good enough for your living room, it shouldn’t be good enough for Church either.

Question:

What does it take to build a compelling environment where people are intentionally exposed to, interact with, and respond to the Gospel?

1. Does your communication look like it’s coming from multiple voices or one voice?

Are you using consistent language and branding across the board? When there are competing voices in messaging coming from the same church or company, that competition leads to confusion.

2. Is the priority message getting priority communication?

You can’t effectively communicate everything to everyone. Have you taken the time to decide what actually gets communicated, who it gets communicated to, how it is going to be communicated, in what venue it is being communicated, and why? If everything is important, nothing is.

3. Are you spamming people or using permission based communication?

Are you attempting to force feed people or provide them with information that they are asking for and self-identifying they are interested in based on the venues they are putting themselves in? 

4. Is the communication strategy at your church moving people somewhere?

If you put yourself in the seat of the attender, would all of the communication you’re receiving help move you along a pathway towards a desired destination or is it just another event to clutter your life or even worse stuff that’s not even pertinent to you?

I’d love to learn from you! What are the best steps you’ve taken to be both effective and clear with the communication strategies at your church?

That is why I’m excited about a recent book I read by Dr. Henry Cloud entitled “Necessary Endings.” In it he does a masterful job of leading us through how to handle endings in our lives well. In fact he goes so far as to assert that in order for us to move forward in life there are, “employees, businesses, and relationships that all of us have to give up in order to move forward.” It’s definitely worth the read and will challenge you to grow and think differently about your work, your relationships, and what it means to move forward in life.

Here are some of my favorite quotes and thoughts from the book that had an impact on me:

“Endings bring hope.”

“Make endings a normal occurrence and a normal part of business and life, instead of seeing it as a problem.”

“Pain by its nature is a signal that something is wrong, and action is required.”

“There is a difference between helping someone who is disabled, incapable, or otherwise infirm versus helping someone who is resisting growing up taking care of what every adult (or child for that matter) has to be responsible for: herself or himself. When you find yourself in any way paying for someone else’s responsibilities, not only are you stuck with a delayed ending, but you are probably harming that person.”

“Those that have the greatest difficulty abandoning things are often those unable to face reality.”

“…the best predictor of the future is the past.”

“This is often the biggest error that people make in determining whether to have hope or not. They forget to think about whom they are depending on to get it done. Instead, they look at what they want or wish to happen and forget who is holding the putter.”

“…wise people learn from experience and make adjustments.”

“You cannot fix people who will not take feedback, because from their perspective, they do not have a problem. So as far as they are concerned, there is nothing to fix. That is why they do not change.”

“…hope for someone who is resistant to feedback is not grounded in a lot of reality.”

“You have heard it said that people resist change. That is not always true. It is more true that people resist change that they feel no real need to make.”

“…you can’t do the prudent thing if you cannot stand for it all to fall apart. Often in necessary endings, you have to give something up or be willing to lose something in order to gain it.”