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Top Posts of 2014 #1: “6 Things I Bet You Don’t Know about Your Pastor’s Wife”

This past week I’ve been counting down the top 10 posts of the year and I’m happy to share with you the #1 post of the year! I’m especially glad to share this post with you because my wife, Lisa, actually helped me write it…hmmm…maybe she should write more often on my blog.

One of the least thought about people in the church today is a Pastor’s wife. While leaders get all the attention and accolades their families and private lives are thought of very little by the public. In fact in a moment in church history where we are inundated with volumes of leadership ideas and training very little is written about pastor’s wives. I recently sat down with Lisa, my wife, and asked her about her experience being married to a full-time pastor for the past 18+ years. Here is some of what she had to say…

1. Every Criticism of the Church is a Criticism of my Husband

Whenever people complain about the church, I feel like they’re complaining about my husband. After all every criticism of leadership is ultimately a criticism of my husband. It could be a sermon series they don’t like, a new building project they don’t agree with, services times, parking, the music being too loud, Children’s Ministry, a staff member they don’t like…on and on the list can go.

2. I wish my Kids were treated like Every other Kid at Church

I wish my kids were treated with the same love, grace and enthusiasm that every other kid was treated with at church. It goes both ways. They either receive preferential treatment because they’re the pastor’s kid or they’re overly criticized for every peep they make in church. They deserve to have the same experience that every other kid who walks in those doors has. I want my kids to grow up to love Jesus and the church not feel criticized by it.

3. Sundays are the most Difficult Day of the Week

I wake up and get the kids ready alone. We go to church alone. I check my kids into children’s ministry alone. I sit in church alone. I come home alone. And when my husband comes home from church, he’s tired because he’s given his all to serve the church that day. It’s tough, because my kids are off from school 2 days a week, and one of those days is a workday for dad.

4. I don’t Always want to be in a Bible Study

There’s this unspoken (and sometimes spoken) expectation that if you’re a pastor’s wife that every time the church is open you should be there and leading in some capacity. Sometimes I just want to volunteer in my kids school and in the community and be outside the 4 walls of the church around people who are far from Jesus. Don’t’ get me wrong, we’re in a small group with other Believers and love it. It’s just sometimes I don’t want to be around Christians, I want to be around people who are far from Jesus, because that’s who Jesus came for

5. Holidays are Lonely

In other words Christmas and Easter. They’re Super Bowl moments for the church. They’re 2 of the most likely times when people will come to church each year. So when everyone else is hanging with family and celebrating holidays together, my husband is at church. We don’t get to travel and be with family. We don’t get to be together on Christmas Eve.

6. I’m not Married to Jesus, my Husband is Human

Believe it or not my husband is not always the same guy that everyone sees on stage. There’s times he’s grumpy, tired, impatient with the kids, and selfish. He has bad days just like everyone else. And he’s not walking around spouting off scripture all hours of the day. We have arguments just like every other couple. Contrary to popular belief he’s human just like every other guy.

Before you think I hate being a Pastor’s Wife: Every wife has things she likes and dislikes about her husbands job, no matter what he does for a career. But it seems like a lot of people think that a pastor’s job is a cakewalk, and that he only works on Sundays. No, he’s not traveling 40% of the nights each month like a lot of men in business world. No he doesn’t commute an hour to work each way, and he doesn’t work 3rd shift. Even though being married to a pastor is not as easy as you may think, it does however have it’s own unique set of blessings. It’s an incredible privilege to be a small part of leading a church. It’s no small thing that people would trust me and that I would have the opportunity to help shepherd and care for people, and see people take ground in their relationship with Jesus. And there is a real sense that I have a huge extended family in the body of Christ. There really are some really sweet people in the church that help take care of my family and me. They minister to us as much as we minister to them. It may not always be easy, but it’s worth it.

Photo Credit: swirlingthoughts via Compfight cc


Posted in Family, Leadership

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Top Posts of 2014 #2: “When to Add Another Worship Service at your Church”

Most churches I’ve been around want to grow, but many are confused about when to add another worship service, how to do it, and if they should attempt the move at all. This post was the #2 post this year on Helping Churches Make Vision Real and will help you if you’re trying to figure out when you’re going to add an additional worship service at your church this year.

Many churches are stuck in attendance simply because they haven’t maximized their current facilities and campus. Thinking about adding another worship service at your church? Here are five strategic concepts to consider before you do. Not sure if multiple worship services are right for your church? Check out this blog on Overcoming the Fear of Moving to Multiple Worship Services.

1. Begin with Two Worship Services…not One

Conventional wisdom would say to begin with one public service at the optimum time. Conventional wisdom would be wrong. Two services provide customizable options, and Americans love to customize their options. Two services also provide opportunities for people to attend a service and volunteer at a service. It’s easier to build volunteer teams for two services than one.

2. Make Everyone Pick a New Service Time

When you believe you’re ready to add an additional worship service don’t just add one, make everyone pick a new service time. Simply adding on another service and asking people to make room for outsiders by moving their service time is rarely successful. You may get the faithful few but not the masses. Instead try something like this: move from having two services at 9:30am & 11:00am to three services at 9:00am, 10:30am and noon.

3. Timing is Overrated

The best time to add a new service is when you need one. People will talk about the right time, or key times of the year to add a new service but the best time to add a new service is when you need one. A new service can bring an infusion of new people (remember people love options and more options can mean more people), and new is always catalytic in building momentum.

4. Optimum Seats at Optimum Times is Real

The most popular time for worship services in the U.S. is between 10:00am & 11:00am on Sunday mornings. This is the time guests are most likely to come to your church. Few churches are having success doing services before 9:00am and the earlier the service the more likely it will be an, “older church crowd.” Try two services on Saturday evenings between 4:30-6:30pm or Sunday evenings during the same window of time.

5. The 80% Rule Still Applies

When starting new worship services it’s important to manage your expectations. If your prime-time service is at 80% capacity then each service you add off the prime-time will most likely have a diminishing return. For example, the church I serve at has five weekend services, two on Saturday and three on Sunday. The most well attended service is 10:30am, followed by 4:30pm on Saturday, noon on Sunday, 9:00am on Sunday and then 6:00pm on Saturday.

What experience have you had with multiple worship services? What would you add to the list? Add to the conversation and leave a comment!

Photo Credit: maymoron via Compfight cc


Posted in Leadership

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Top Posts of 2014 #3: “How Much Should Your Church Pay Your Pastor?”

I enjoy being able to pass along helpful content on my blog and a common question I hear in working with churches is, “How much should we pay our pastoral staff?” Fortunately this post helps answer that question.

A couple of years ago I wrote a post called, “How Much Should We Pay Our Pastor,” that went on to become a pretty popular post, primarily because most churches have no idea what a fair compensation package is for their pastor or any member of their church staff. Fortunately for Churches seeking to answer this question some new data has just been released this week!

The 2014 Large Church Salary Report conducted by Leadership Network in partnership with the Vanderbloemen Executive Search Firm has just been released to the public. The largest survey of its kind ever conducted, 727 churches of over 1,000 people in attendance from 42 states and Canada participated to provide more information and more specific information than ever before available. Follow this link to get your hands on a copy of the survey results! Here are a couple of facts that caught my eye along with the top 10 findings info-graphic below.

  • The larger the church the younger it is. In other words, churches in the 1,000-person range have on average been around for about 40 years. Churches in the 10,000-person range on average have been around about 25 years.
  • The younger the church, the more likely it is to be multisite.
  • 74% of large churches are growing.
  • One of the things I really liked about the way Leadership Network chose to show the information was that they showed the 25%, 50% (or median), and 75% instead of simply showing the average. These numbers offer better benchmarks because they minimize the influence of extremely high or low salaries.

Related Resources:

  1. Interested in a Custom Compensation Analysis by Vanderbloemen Search Firm
  2. Interested in a Compensation Study done for churches under 1,000?


Posted in Staffing

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Top Posts of 2014 #4: “The Four Stages of a Church Staff Team”

I’m always looking for great word pictures for leadership systems and structures in the local church. Apparently other people are too, because this was the 4th most popular post on Helping Churches Make Vision Real this year!

If you’ve ever been a part of a growing church you know that growth changes everything. Especially the relational, organizational and working dynamics of the staff team. Larry Osborne, Lead Pastor at North Coast Church writes the following in his book Sticky Teams:

“Never forget growth changes everything. A storefront church, a midsized church, a large church, and a mega-church aren’t simply bigger versions of the same thing. They are completely different animals. They have little in common, especially relationally, organizationally, and structurally.”

Fortunately I’ve had the opportunity to sit down with Larry and hear him expound on this idea and talk about what he describes as, “The Four Stages of a Team.”

Stage 1: Track Star

The track star performs alone. They may train with others and their score may affect an overall team win, but they operate by themselves. This is the solo pastor. Typical Church Size: 0-150

Stage 2: Golfing Buddies

At this stage the church staff is highly relational. They enjoy deep relationships and doing life together outside of work. They’re doing what they love with people that they like. Typical Church Size: 150-600

Stage 3: Basketball Team

Basketball is a team sport not a friendship sport. It requires working together, trusting one another and sharing the ball. While there are still meaningful relationships, genuine camaraderie, and a shared sense of purpose; there are too many players for everyone to be best friends. On a basketball team there are star players and role players. And they’re paid differently due to the role that they play. Typical Church Size 600-2,000

Stage 4: Football Team

This is the most drastic and difficult change. And it’s the reason why so many churches get stuck and so few ever break 2,000. Football can be a dangerous game if you think you’re still playing track, golf, or basketball. In the game of football there are highly specialized roles and team work is essential. The offense, defense and special teams all have different playbooks. Often times the offense isn’t even watching what the defense is doing while they’re on the field and visa-verse. They’re preparing for the next time they’re on the field. Everyone no longer knows what everyone else is doing. When the defense adds a new blitz package without telling the offensive line, the offensive line doesn’t care. They’re just glad someone sacked the opposing teams quarterback. And even in football there are different levels of the game. There is a big difference in talent, coaching, speed of the game, and complexity between High School, D1 College, and the NFL. Typical Church Size: 2,000+

Photo Credit: PowerMax Energy via Compfight cc


Posted in Leadership, Staffing

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Top Posts of 2014 #5: “Ministry Trends for 2014”

We’re halfway through our Top 10 countdown of the most popular posts here at Helping Churches Make Vision Real! I’d be interested to know how many of these trends you experienced in 2014.

Recently Carey Nieuwof, who serves as the Lead Pastor at Connexus Church north of Toronto, Canada, released this info-graphic about trends he’s seeing in ministry as we head into 2014. With his permission, I’m happy to share this here with you. Carey speaks to leaders and audiences across North American and around the world on leadership, change, parenting and personal renewal. You can follow this link to keep up with Carey at his blog!

Which of these trends have you seen? Which ones do you disagree with? Anything surprising to you? Or is there anything you would add? What trends are you observing as we head into 2014? Leave a comment!


Posted in Leadership