Tag Archive - boss

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2 Big Leadership Questions you Probably aren’t Asking

I want to thank my dad, David Alexander, for this guest post. Retired from a career with the Department of Defense in which he oversaw billions of dollars of government assets and hundreds of employees, today he enjoys fishing, his grandkids, and driving my mom crazy! Love you dad, hopefully some of your leadership experience rubbed off on me. And hopefully this post helps church leaders think a little differently about leadership.

Do you know who you work for?

Seems like a silly question, I know. Let me explain… I was once asked to work for the Under Secretary of The Navy for Research and Development for a few months in order to help with the work load. While there I worked for the Deputy Under Secretary, Rear Admiral Dave Oliver. My first assignment was to give a briefing about our lab facilities on the west coast to the new Under Secretary who was a new appointee under the Clinton Administration.

The Under Secretary had a very large office as far as Pentagon standards and had a great view of the Washington monument.  There were a number of Navy Captains, high level civilians as well as the Under Secretary in the room. Just before my brief, my boss, ADM Oliver told me to be sure to introduce my self and explain I was on loan from the Navy’s Space and Naval Warfare Systems Command to ADM Oliver. He was standing in the back of the room and had a smile on his face. As I started my brief, and introduced myself and who I worked for, the Under Secretary stopped me in mid sentence saying, “Mr. Alexander, I want you to understand, you don’t work for ADM Oliver you work for me!” Sometimes people, especially political appointees, feel the need to flex their positional authority mussels. The ADM was now laughing and trying to hide it and pointed at me from the back of the room. Nothing wrong with positional authority, sometimes it’s a way to get things accomplished. ADM Oliver totally set me up and he thought it was very funny. But there’s a real lesson here. No matter how large or small an organization, in which you serve, you need to know who you really work for and who your boss really is. I can tell you, it’s probably not your direct report! Maybe it’s others….or just maybe ADM Oliver was just trying to make me, the new kid, feel like part of the team, could be he just needed a good laugh, not sure. But that was the high point of the brief. From that point on, I always made sure who the boss really was.

What are your priorities ?

You can get all sorts of answers to the question of priorities in the work space. As the Executive Director of the Nuclear Submarine Base New London, Groton CT. I had the privilege of working with various unions and union leadership representatives. Having some important info I wanted to discuss with the union leadership representatives and members I asked that they meet with me at close of the business day for an hour and that I would pay them overtime for the hour.

We had two shifts on base so I asked each shift to meet with me at 1600 (4pm for those who may not know how the military tells time). To make a long story short my HR division head informed me that paying union members over time to attend a meeting was against the rules and that I can’t have the meeting. I thanked John, my HR Director, for his input, but that I was having the meeting anyway. He decided to report me to HR headquarters in Washington DC!

Bold move to say the least since I signed his pay check. I had the meeting and a couple of months later I received a phone call from the senior officer on the base. It was the ADM in charge of water space management for submarines in the Atlantic Ocean. Although not in my chain of command, since he was the senior officer on the base he had lots of positional authority (goes to knowing who your boss is). The ADM called me first thing in the morning one Monday and asked if I would come see him. He was just being polite. Of course when the ADM asks you to come see him your not going to say no. Sitting across from his desk he said “David did you have a meeting with the union folks and pay them overtime to attend?” I told him I did. Then he asked, “Would you do it again if you needed to.”  I simply said, yes I would. He then crumpled up a letter on his desk and made a perfect swish to the trash can (I’m thinking two points!) and said, “I thought so.” That was the end of our brief meeting that morning. I could tell because he stood up and turned to ask his administrative assistance something, so I simply exited his office. That’s how things are done lots of times.

I assumed it was a letter from HR headquarters talking about my transgression with paying the union folks. I later found out it was.

Even though I had much to do each day, one thing was always more important than the issue at hand. That was making people a priority. Knowing your priorities is key to success and I believe in most organizations the priority is your people. Do what’s best for them, sometimes it may have to be in spite of the rules. But if you do decide to break the rules, you need to be sure it’s the right thing to do.


Posted in Leadership, Testimonial

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5 Articles that will Help Your Church Make Vision Real

Thank you for making October a great month here at Helping Churches Make Vision Real! It’s great staying connected with you through social media and hearing about how helpful different articles have been. So, thank you for connecting with me through the content on this blog! You made these the top 5 Posts from this last month. If you missed out on any of them, here they are all in one place for your convenience!

1. What every Executive Assistant Wishes their Boss Knew

Fortunately I’ve had the opportunity to work with some incredible Executive Assistants through out the years. I recently asked my current Executive Assistant to do a bit of “market research” for me and have some conversations (a lot of conversations) with other administrative staff and come up with a list of top things they wish their bosses knew. Here’s some of the ideas that came back…

2. Top 10 Reasons Churches get Stuck

For more than 18 years I’ve been working full-time in a local church setting. The last 13 of those have been in large mega-church and multi-site settings. I’ve had the unique opportunity to work with an incredible team of people at a the Unstuck Group a successful consulting firm specializing in helping churches get unstuck. Over this span of time I’ve seen churches get and stay stuck for all kinds of reasons but there are 10 catalysts for church stuckness that I see come up over and over again. Here they are in no particular order:

3. 6 Qualities of a Leader I’ve Followed

Over 18 years of full-time ministry I’ve had the opportunity to work some great leaders and my friend Scott Ridout is one of the best. Scott has recently been appointed to be the next President of Converge Worldwide, the movement of churches that Sun Valley (the church I serve at) is a part of. I don’t single out individual leaders as examples very often, and if you knew Scott, he’d be embarrassed by the fact that I’m even writing this, but I believe the best place to learn leadership is from leaders. And I think there is a lot we can learn from the way Scott has led. So here are 6 qualities of a leader that I’ve personally followed…

4. Why Policies are Bad for your Church

No, I don’t have a policy for that. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been asked to share a Staff Handbook, the hiring process I’ve built and use, budgeting policies, board policies or a whole host of other policies someone is looking to implement at their church. Because the majority of my experience in church-world has been in the role of Executive Pastor most people automatically think, “policies and administration.” My real job is to bridge the gap between vision and reality…but that conversation is for another time. While some policies can be useful and helpful (by the way if they aren’t helpful you shouldn’t have them), I’m actually a minimalist when it comes to policies. And here’s a couple of reasons why…

5. Why Bringing Problems to a Leader is a Problem

Leaders aren’t looking for problems. They’re looking for solutions. That’s one of things that make leaders…well, leaders. They find solutions, not problems. They lean into the future, not the past. Leaders naturally create chaos and tension in an organization they don’t resolve it. Because they know that every organization needs a certain amount of chaos or it stagnates and dies. And that’s why consistently bringing problems to a leader is a sure way to get your leader frustrated with you.


Posted in Leadership

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What every Executive Assistant wishes their Boss Knew

Fortunately I’ve had the opportunity to work with some incredible Executive Assistants through out the years. I recently asked my current Executive Assistant to do a bit of “market research” for me and have some conversations (a lot of conversations) with other administrative staff and come up with a list of top things they wish their bosses knew. Here’s some of the ideas that came back…

1. Consistency: Consistent weekly meetings are invaluable to me. Often the first and last of the week to touch base on tasks, projects, calendar, and objectives. This helps us effectively communicate and stay on the same page.

2. Trust: Don’t micromanage me. Help me understand the objectives and the playing field and then let me run.

3. Input: Let me have input into decisions that affect me. I see things from a different point of view than you, and you could be missing something.

4. Care: Care about me as a person, not just someone who gets things done for you. Ask me about my kids and my family and remember special days like my birthday and anniversary.

5. Clarity: Allow me to ask for clarity. When you give me a list of tasks to get accomplished on Tuesday and you already gave me a task list on Monday, allow me the freedom to push back and get clarity on what’s most important now, what can wait until next week, and what can wait until next month.

6. Boundaries: I’m your Administrative Assistant not your Personal Assistant. I’m not all that interested in picking up your laundry, scheduling hair appointments and the like.

7. Calendaring: If you want me to keep your schedule, then let me keep your schedule. 2 people trying to manage the same calendar just creates confusion and overlap. Help me know what kind of work routine and rhythm works best for your week, month, and year.

Photo Credit: libraryman via Compfight cc


Posted in Leadership, Staffing

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Why Telling People What to do makes them Stupid

While directions and plans may help you put together furniture from Ikea (with a little luck), put together your kids toys on Christmas Eve or even build enormous buildings and superstructures they don’t inspire people to give their lives to a cause or join a movement. After all, Martin Luther King Jr. said ‘I have a dream’, not ‘ I have a plan’.

While telling people what to do may help you accomplish your plan, the dark side to telling people what to do is that it builds a culture that…

1. Repels Leaders

2. Thwarts Innovation

3. Discourages Involvement

4. Stifles the Development of Talent

5. Undermines Creativity

6. Uses People instead of Empowers them

7. Avoids Risk and Plays it Safe

What else would you add to the list? What experience do you have with leaders who seem to have the need to tell people what to do? I’d love to hear your thoughts, leave a comment. Want to dig into this idea further? Check out this TED Talk by Simon Sinek.


Posted in Leadership

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October’s Top Blog Posts on Helping Churches Make Vision Real

Thank you! You made these the most popular posts this month on “Helping Churches Make Vision Real.”

#1 Take the Lid Off Your Church

Catch my interview with Tony Morgan about his most recent book, “Take the Lid Off Your Church: 6 Steps to Building a Healthy Senior Leadership Team”

#2 Join Me For a Week in India

An incredible opportunity to join me and 30 other Church Leaders from around the country for a week in India!

#3 Five Keys That Can Make All the Difference When Speaking Up to Your Boss

Learn how to speak up to your boss the right way (so they’ll actually hear you) when you disagree with them.

#4 Why Some Teams Win and Most Lose

Notes and take-aways from my time with Larry Osborne last month.

#5 Leadership Lessons I was Reminded of while on Vacation

4 Leadership lessons that I was reminded of while I was on family vacation this past month.


Posted in Leadership
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