Tag Archive - emotional intelligence

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Avoidance: The Silent Killer of a Team

Great teams keep short accounts and normalize feedback, which allow them to make small degrees of change along the way. These behaviors allow great teams to create feedback loops, innovate, and test new solutions quickly.

The problem? Most teams aren’t great teams. Most teams don’t have the courage to be that honest with one another. Most teams would rather talk about one another than talk to one another. They avoid conflict, and in so doing, they quietly kill their team.

I don’t blame them; it’s easier to avoid conflict than it is to run towards it. It’s easier to tell people what they want to hear than tell them what they need to hear. It’s easier to tell people a shade of or portion of the truth instead of the full truth. It’s not always easy to speak the truth…even if it’s true. When avoidance runs rampant on a team you’ll typically find symptoms of defensiveness, combativeness, excuses and fear.

Jesus modeled a different, more courageous brand of leadership without taking a harsh or rude approach.

  • In Matthew chapter 5 Jesus encourages us that even if we are at the altar offering a sacrifice and remember that there is something between us and someone else, we are to leave what we’re doing and go make that right.
  • In Matthew 18 Jesus teaches us that if there is an issue between us and another person we are to go directly to that person to resolve it first.
  • Jesus doesn’t avoid speaking the truth to the woman at the well in John chapter 4 who had a string of broken marriages and He doesn’t avoid it with the woman caught in the act of adultery in John chapter 8.

Yes, timing matters and your approach matters. You may not do it well at first but don’t let that stop you from flexing a new muscle and building a new discipline. Don’t sit back and do nothing. Don’t let avoidance kill your team.


Posted in Leadership, Staffing

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5 Reasons I Would Hire You

One of the most enjoyable things I get to do is to recruit and on-board new team members. Hire the right person and the whole team benefits. When you invite the right person to join your team not only is there an infusion of new talent, but also new ideas, fresh eyes, and a new well of experiences to go to. One new hire can literally improve the performance of the entire team. Below are five characteristics that I’m looking for when I’m hiring someone or helping churches make the next right hire. I’m not sure if these are what most high-powered companies, or even what most churches are looking for in their next hires. But if they’re not, they’re making a big mistake.

1. Attitude

Attitude is more valuable than aptitude every day of the week. Skills can be learned and talent can be developed, but attitude is one of those things you either have or you don’t. You can give someone all of the necessary tools to do their job, an incredible work environment and a strong organizational culture to work within. But if they don’t have the right attitude they’ll fail every time, and worse they’ll take the whole team down with them.

2. Track Record

Don’t try and impress me and sell me on what you’re going to do. Don’t start talking with me about theory and all the ideas that you learned about in the classroom. Show me what you’ve done. And while it doesn’t necessarily need to be “big,” it does needs to have been done well. Over and over and over again…all throughout the Bible when people have been faithful with a little they’re given an opportunity to be faithful with more. Real leadership is never appointed, it’s always recognized. Show me.

3. Creative Problem Solving

In church-world you’re not going to have a lot of financial, facility, or staffing resources to throw at problems. Which means you’re going to have to get creative. You’re going to have to be flexible, nimble and live on the solution side of problems. It doesn’t take a lot of talent to point out what’s wrong, just about anyone can do that. But it takes a resourceful leader to come up with creative solutions and move things forward.

4. High E.Q.

At the end of the day if you don’t like and don’t want to be around people, you’re going to have a pretty tough time in local church ministry. Relationships are both the glue and the grease that make work happen in the workplace. You’ve got to demonstrate a high level of emotional intelligence if you’re going to be very successful in ministry over the long haul. Follow this link if you’re interested in learning more about developing your E.Q.

5. I Actually Like You

This may sound like the shallowest one on the list, but it may just be the most important factor in any hire. The reason why is culture. Your church has a culture and if you’ve been there for a while then chances are you are leading through the filter of you church’s culture. If you can’t see yourself getting along with the potential hire, wanting to hang out with them, if they don’t have a similar DNA to the team their joining then chances are, they don’t belong on the team.


Posted in Staffing

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Emotional Intelligence

Leading has much more to do with relationships than most hard driving, task driven, get it done leaders will ever admit. This is one the factors that makes leadership more of a complex art than simple set of skills. That is why the best leaders have the ability to make people feel heard, valued, as though we can trust them, and that we actually want to follow them where they’re going. Believe it or not, a lot of it has to do with their level of Emotional Intelligence (or E.Q.).

Emotional Intelligence = Effective Interpersonal Relationships

Which is the combination of being simultaneously self-aware and others focused.

The best leaders don’t simply spend time on learning new management or organizational theory. The best leaders spend time on becoming better at the art of leading through relationships. After all relationships are both the glue and the grease that make work, happen.

Last month I had the opportunity to hear Tim Tassopoulos, Senior Vice President of Operations for Chick-fil-A, give a leadership talk on “Improving your Emotional Intelligence Quotient.” Below are some of my take-aways…

Continue Reading…


Posted in Leadership