[Repost] Leadership Lessons I Learned from my Mom

Tag Archive - young

[Repost] Leadership Lessons I Learned from my Mom

Sunday, May 13, 2018

Back in 2012 I did a post about some leadership lessons that I learned from my mom. There’s 2 big reasons I want dust that off an and share it again with you today. First and most obvious, it’s Mother’s Day and I wanted to take a moment and give her some public credit. Second, and I’m not going to address this directly in this post, but I’ve been hearing from more and more female leaders in the Church that struggle with finding their place in ministry, a church that will validate their leadership gifts and other strong female leaders in the Church to look up to and learn from. So that being said, here are some leadership lessons I learned from my mom along the way. Thanks mom!

My mom has left an incredible legacy. She’s got two boys that are both married and following Jesus, a couple of great daughter in laws, and seven grandchildren. It’s a legacy that’s definitely worth reproducing. But it becomes more impressive when you understand where she came from. A single child born and raised on the west coast, tragedy struck young when both of her parents died at an early age. Raised by her grandparents she wasn’t exposed to the Gospel until her early 20’s when she followed Christ, married my father, and two unruly little boys entered her life. What follows are 5 leadership lessons that I learned along the way from my incredible mother…

1. The Art of a Unified Front

Mom & Dad were on the same team. As much as we tried, we couldn’t play them against each other. It’s okay for Senior Level Leadership Teams to disagree, in fact differing perspectives and ideas are healthy and beneficial to any organization…as long as it stays in the boardroom.

2. Hard Work is Worth it

When we went to school every day, mom went to work and I don’t know how she did it but she rushed home and made sure we ate dinner together every night as a family. From early in the morning until late at night, mom worked hard. Hard work seems to be a four-letter word in today’s world. Instead we talk about working smarter not harder, streamlining, process efficiency, and supply chain management. While I’m all for efficiency you can’t be afraid to simply roll up your sleeves and do some hard work.

3. Finish Strong

Mom didn’t do things half way. She didn’t leave things undone. She finished. Even if it meant staying up late or getting up early. Too many loose ends will do you in. Starting projects can be fun and exciting but people don’t pay for projects that get started, they pay for results.

4. People follow Leaders who have a Servants Heart

For years I actually thought my mom liked burnt toast. Moms always seem to be the last ones to get dressed, do her hair, eat dinner, and any other number of normal routines around the house. And it was usually due to taking care of everyone else! Young leaders in the workforce today want to know what you want for them, not from them. They want to follow someone who is authentic, vulnerable, and willing to serve. The moment you become too big to serve, you’re too big to lead.

5. Be Patient with Young Talent

Through all of the craziness of having two boys in the house that were…well…all boy. Mom was patient, kind and gentle through it all. Young talent needs time to develop, opportunities to stretch their leadership wings, and yes room to make mistakes like putting holes in walls and breaking things. They need to know that there is room to fail. If there isn’t, they’ll eventually rebel, or worse stop experimenting and stop dreaming all together.

Posted in Family, Leadership

Why the Sky is NOT the Limit for Young Church Leaders

Sunday, April 15, 2018

The sky is not the limit for your church leaders, it’s just not. And we do them a disservice to feed them lines and fill their heads with ideas that just aren’t true. It’s one thing to tell a young leader that you believe in them and encourage them, it’s another to just lie to them. Sometimes in our attempts to encourage young leaders we move past encouragement into falsehood. In doing so we set them up for disappointment and sometimes failure.

In Proverbs 13:12 the Bible teaches us that, “Hope deferred makes the heart grow sick.” In other words, hope that doesn’t end in real results can destroy someone. So we need be careful what direction and expectations we set on young leaders, because if it doesn’t come to fruition we can ruin them.

We’d be better off to encourage them to understand that their limit is their limit and go have fun testing their limits. When young leaders find their limits and live within what Jesus has wired them up to do they’ll experience more peace and produce more fruit!

Truth is, the sky is not the limit for young leaders, there are real limiting factors that they are or will experience, here are just a few.

1. Gifting

The Scriptures are clear that not everyone gets the same gift (and leadership is clearly defined as a spiritual gift in the Bible that not everyone gets). There are different gifts, God seemingly loves diversity and has created a system that pushes us towards one another instead of away. For the Church to be its best we need to bring our best together and lean into each other’s areas of gifting and brilliance!

2. Capacity

The Scriptures are also clear that not everyone gets the same measure of gifts. Some have a greater capacity than others. It’s possible that two people may have a teaching gift, but one may have a great measure of that gift. You get how this works.

3. Approach

Now this is something that young leaders can actually control. They can control the approach they take. They can decide if they are going to have a great attitude or not, they can choose how much effort they are going to put forth, they can choose to submit to those in authority over them or not, and they can choose be teachable or not. They can choose their approach.

4. Opportunity

I’ve heard it said that luck is what happens when opportunity meets preparation. You can call it providence and blame all of your opportunities or lack of opportunities on God or you can take personal ownership of your life and go make your own opportunities. Now I’m not a “demon behind every bush” kind of guy, but I don’t want to not give credit to God when it’s due either. Some opportunities are self-made while others are God given. Whichever come your way take advantage of them because not everyone gets the same opportunities.

5. Resources

Some young leaders simply have greater resources at their disposal. These resources give them a disproportional leg up over their peers. Some have access to greater preparation, development and coaching. Some have access to more finances which allow them greater margin. Still others have access to deeper personnel bench to deploy. Recourses are a limiting factor for growing leaders.

Posted in Spiritual Formation, Staffing

10 Articles that will Help your Church Make Vision Real

Wednesday, October 4, 2017

Thank you for making September another great month here at Helping Churches Make Vision Real! It’s great staying connected with you through social media and hearing that these articles have been helpful. So, thank you for connecting with me through the content on this blog! You made these the top posts from this last month. If you missed out on any of them, here they are all in one place for your convenience!

What Separates Good Church Leaders from Great Church Leaders?

Over the past 20+ years of full-time ministry and 5+ years of consulting with churches and coaching church leaders around the country there are a few characteristics that I’ve observed that separate good church leaders from great church leaders.

8 Reasons Why People Don’t Volunteer at your Church

I’ve never worked with a church that has said they don’t need more volunteers. But I’ve worked with a bunch of churches that have trouble getting people to volunteer and stay engaged volunteering.

When to Invest in a Young Leader and when to Ignore them

Experienced leaders are always going to have more opportunities available to say yes to than capacity to meet them. This is true in leadership and this is true in developing young talent. You have to make a choice. So, choose wisely. How do you know who to invest in and who to ignore?

5 Reasons Why Churches Avoid Developing a Strategy

Churches avoid developing a strategy for all kinds of reasons. Many are tied to not wanting to use “business practices” in the church or not being “spirit led.” Nothing could be further from the truth. Jesus has a strategy, and your church should too!

A Sneaky way to Change the Culture of your Church Staff Team

Here’s a low investment example of a sneaky way you can start changing the culture of your church staff team and ultimately your church.

Why Churches Decline and Die

Church decline can be avoided and even turned around. If your church is stuck or in decline I’d encourage you to start a conversation with the Unstuck Group. They have proven track record of helping churches get unstuck. Here are a couple big reasons, in no particular order, why churches decline and die.

You Get what you Tolerate

I talk to church leaders all the time who dream about how they wish their church were different. But I rarely talk to church leaders who are willing to take action and do something with all of that wishing. Just like in parenting, any relationship or social construct, in church leadership you get what you tolerate. If you tolerate bad behavior, you’re going to get bad behavior.

7 Questions to Help your Church determine the Location of your next Multisite Campus

If you church is thinking about launching a new multisite location in the next 18 months I’d encourage you to seriously think and talk through the following 7 questions with your Sr. Leadership Team to help you determine the next right location.

The Difference between Preparation and Planning

Do great organizations prepare for the future or do they plan for it? The answer is, “yes.” To be clear preparation and planning are not the same thing, and great organizations become great by doing both.

The Tension between Leadership and Power

A little bit of power can go to your head. Give some people a uniform, a title, or a little bit of authority and they can become a little overbearing and overzealous (the movie Mall Cop comes to mind). People often confuse power and leadership. I get it, leaders by perception have all the power and leaders often misuse power. But leadership and power are not the same thing.

Posted in Leadership

The Difference between Credibility and Ability

Tuesday, August 8, 2017

There’s a big difference between ability and credibility. I’ve had conversations with many young leaders who think they should get a shot at an opportunity or they deserve be promoted because of their ability. But what many young leaders fail to understand is that real leadership is recognized not appointed.

This is not about “paying your dues,” but rather figuring out 3 big leadership lessons…

Learning to be Patient: the art of timing is essential in leadership
Submitting to Authority: you can’t be in authority without learning to be under authority
Delivering Consistently Over Time: building the credibility to lead, not just having the ability to

Ability is an unrealized ceiling that you have based on your potential.

Just because you have the ability to doing something doesn’t mean you have done it or that you will do it. You have an upside because someone sees something in you. You have the potential to deliver, but you haven’t delivered yet…at least not consistently over an extended period of time. You’ve shown flashes of greatness but can you deliver that day in and day out?

Credibility is what you have when you demonstrate ability over time.

What makes you credible is the fact that you’ve delivered consistently over time. People know what to expect from you. You show up over and over and over again. You are consistent with what you deliver over and over and over again. You know it and everyone else knows it. People know you can do a job, because you’ve proven it.

Posted in Leadership, Spiritual Formation, Staffing

When to Invest in a Young Leader and When to Ignore Them

Sunday, July 16, 2017

Like it or not, millennials are making their way into leadership roles in churches across America. As they take their newfound place in church leadership many of them are looking for someone to invest in them and help develop them as young emerging leaders.

Young, naïve, and inexperienced talent doesn’t bother me. But young talent that is void of the following four intangibles scares me to death.

Talent

Skills can be trained but talent is developed. Talent is something you have or you don’t have. It’s something you’re born with or is gifted to you by the Holy Spirit. You get the gifts you’re given. For instance, if someone has been given the spiritual gift of leadership, it can be developed and that art can be perfected over time through study and practice. Others without the spiritual gift of leadership may learn leadership skills but they’ll never have the talent to lead at the same level as someone with a leadership gift. I’m looking for young leaders who are very talented.

Capacity

In a world where everyone gets a participation trophy and kids are taught that they can do anything and be anything they want to be in life; what I’m about to say isn’t going to be very popular. But it will be true. While different people may have similar talents, they may have different capacities. The Bible is clear that while many people may get similar or even the same gifts, that they are given in different measure. So, no you can’t be anything you want to be, but you can be the best you that you’re designed to be. That being said, I’m looking for young leaders who have a high capacity.

Teachable

In the book of James, he Bible teaches us that “God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble.” You can’t give something to someone who doesn’t want to or isn’t ready to receive it. (both matter by the way). You can’t teach someone who isn’t teachable. I’m looking for young leaders who demonstrate a teachable spirit.

Effort

It’s okay for a young leader not to have an answer, but it’s not okay for that same young leader to not go find the answer. It’s okay for a young leader to fail and not get everything right the first time. It’s not okay for a young leader to not try as hard as they possibly can to succeed. I’m looking for young leaders who demonstrate tremendous effort.

Posted in Leadership, Staffing

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