What do you do when you Don’t Agree with your Pastor?

If you work on staff at a church, chances are at some point you’re going to disagree with your pastor. That’s okay, you’re human, it would be naive to think you’re always going to agree with your pastor. But what you do with that disagreement is where things can get really messy. Messy for you, and messy for the church.

Choose to Love Them

You don’t have to agree with someone in order to love them. I choose to love people I don’t agree with all the time. If I didn’t I wouldn’t be married. This may seem like a simple step but it’s an important step, and it’s the first step. Even if you don’t agree with them, your pastor isn’t the enemy. The enemy (Satan) is the enemy, not your pastor.

Take Personal Ownership

The best place to start when you don’t agree with your pastor is not with the question, “What do they need to change?” but rather, “What do I need to change?” Do I need to change my belief, assumptions, attitude, approach, or actions? This is an important step, because while you can’t change another person, you can change you.

Submit to Them

God has given a unique seat to the leader you’re following, and it’s important to remember that He’s chosen to give that seat to them…not you. Make sure you measure your attitude and keep your heart in check. It’s important to tell yourself the truth. Speaking poorly of your leader or creating disunity not only hurts the church and the movement of the Gospel, but the Bible talks about those things as sin. It wouldn’t be a bad idea to remember and read up on the way David submitted to Saul. Oh yea…and remember, even if you don’t like it, for some reason God has allowed the leadership at your church to be in authority at this time. God could be using this time in your life to teach you lessons like: “learning how to be under authority before you’re in authority,” or “the art of timing.”

Leave Them

If you’ve lost respect for your pastor and you can no longer in good conscience follow them, it may be time to leave. If you can’t submit to the leadership of your pastor or by you staying it will create disunity it may be time to leave. Here’s a couple of articles that will help you begin to understand if it’s time for you to leave your church:

Posted in Leadership, Staffing

4 Responses to “What do you do when you Don’t Agree with your Pastor?”

  1. Mickey Freeman March 25, 2018 at 12:22 pm #

    Our church has become static. I found a great article about 10 characteristics of Spirit-filled church. I posted the link. Next thing I knew is that my pastor accused me of posting slanderous things against church and it’s leaders. The comment I made was this is a good read (I did not write the article). Our church is dying. I don’t respect anyone who makes unwarranted accusations. We tithe to church but I have quit going. Pastor doesn’t seem to care whether I come or not. All I asked for was an apology.

  2. Mrs. Harris June 6, 2019 at 7:03 pm #

    It’s not that I can’t submit because I have. I have sat under this leadership for numerous years. I love ministry. I love the leadership but I don’t fully agree with some of the things that are said and done. The teaching is good but we’re often stuck in someone’s past, there is a lot of name-calling, belittling, ridiculing, humiliation, and embarrassing the members. My heart goes out to all who has to receive a tongue lashing. Everyone is no good, bad, corrupt, nasty, disgusted, etc except them and their children. There is too much control and a lot of boasting in themselves. I’m just tired. This has been going on for years and it’s not getting better. No one will speak up because of fear of being cursed or used as a sermon. We praying all the time. We’re fasting; having shut -ins, conferences but nothing has changed.

    What can I do? What can we do?

  3. depobola October 5, 2020 at 11:55 pm #

    Great article.


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