Tag Archive - confrontation

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10 Articles that will Help your Church Make Vision Real

Each month I curate the top 10 most popular blog posts I’ve shared recently. These are the articles that got had the greatest engagement in the past month. They were the most visited, shared, helpful or disagreed with. At any rate, thanks for staying in contact with me through engaging in the content on this site, I hope it’s been helpful to you! In case you missed any of them here they are all in one nice tidy place for you!

Why Video Teaching Will Work in Your Town Too

When I consult with churches that are considering going multisite one of the key exercises I facilitate with their team centers around how they are going to approach preaching in their weekend worship services. It’s a big conversation and a decision that has significant implications to the model and approach that churches take when it comes to multisite.

How to Make Guests Feel Uncomfortable at your Church

It’s uncomfortable for a person who’s unfamiliar with God and church to go to church for the first time. Often times they feel as though they’re taking a huge risk by even showing up. Unfortunately, there are a lot of things that churches do to make guests feel even more uncomfortable when they go to church for the first time. Here are just a few…

[Repost] How to get Easter Guests to Come Back to your Church

A couple of years ago I wrote a post on how to get guests who come to Easter services at your church to come back to your church. It went on to be one of the top 10 most popular posts on my blog that year. With Easter weekend coming up I thought I’d share it with you again in an effort to help you think through any last minute opportunities to leverage Easter to its fullest at your church and help guests come back.

The Difference between Preparation and Planning

Do great organizations prepare for the future or do they plan for it? The answer is, “yes.” To be clear preparation and planning are not the same thing, and great organizations become great by doing both.

4 Ways Churches Misspend Money

Churches get funny when it comes to money. Generally, churches have a hard time talking about money publicly and few have a clear generosity strategy. When it comes to financial planning and actually spending money in a way that gets them to the vision God’s called them to, the majority of churches I’ve interacted with are all thumbs.

8 Reasons Why People Don’t Volunteer at your Church 

I’ve never worked with a church that has said they don’t need more volunteers. But I’ve worked with a bunch of churches that have trouble getting people to volunteer and stay engaged volunteering.

6 Signs that you’re Leading a Healthy Church

Jesus is into results. I know I’m going to lose a lot of readers at those 4 little words. But I really believe it’s true. Read the scriptures and Jesus actually has a plan that He’s working to make everything new and fix what we broke. Both Jesus and the Apostle Paul talk about it in terms of producing “fruit.” That’s the Biblical language ascribed to producing results.

How to Choose the Next Board Members at your Church

If you’ve led in a church for any length of time you can probably tell some stories of experiences you’ve had with dysfunctional Church Boards. Church Board become dysfunctional for a variety of reasons and there are some basic steps you can take to avoid a dysfunctional Board. The first step is to avoid inviting the wrong people to the Board. In writing this post I’m assuming that you’re already vetting potential Board Members based on the letters the Apostle Paul wrote to Timothy and Titus about selecting church leaders. 

What do you do when you Don’t Agree with your Pastor?

If you work on staff at a church, chances are at some point you’re going to disagree with your pastor. That’s okay, you’re human, it would be naive to think you’re always going to agree with your pastor. But what you do with that disagreement is where things can get really messy. Messy for you, and messy for the church.

Building a Winning Culture at your Church

In a day where everyone gets participation trophies the idea of winning or losing when it comes to church has become a foreign concept. In fact, I think most churches have become afraid to win. I’m not talking about a game. Church isn’t a game. It’s about something far bigger than that. Much more is on the line. It’s about heaven and hell. The fact is people are dying and going to hell and that’s simply unacceptable.


Posted in Leadership

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The Difference between Politics and Leadership

If you’ve ever served on a church staff team, if you’ve ever volunteered at a high level in a church, or frankly if you’ve just simply been around church-world for a while you know that churches can be very political. I don’t mean political in the sense of Republican or Democrat, although some churches go down that road too. I mean political in the sense that if you want to get something done it’s all about who you know, who you align yourself with, or what you can offer others in exchange for their support. In short, church politics can be damaging to people in the church, the perception that people outside the church have of Jesus and His followers, and to the mission of Jesus to reconcile the people of the planet to the purposes of God.

Leadership

Key Word = Confrontation
Leaders confront reality and the status qua with a picture of what should be and a preferred future. They courageously make difficult decisions and are willing to suffer loss for the sake of the mission. Leadership is motivated by what’s best for the organization, not what’s best for an individual or even the leader themselves.

Politics

Key Work = Manipulation
People who play politics are motivated by selfish ambition, seeing their dreams come true and advancing their position or status. They want something from people, not for them. Because they lack the experience, character, or gifting to lead; the only tactic they’re left with to get where they want to go is manipulation.

Photo Credit: Vox Efx via Compfight cc


Posted in Leadership

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The Art of Difficult Conversations

If you lead a team long enough, eventually there are going to be some difficult conversations that are going to happen. No one wants to have difficult conversations, there’s nothing fun about them. But if you care about the team and if you care about your teammates then eventually someone is going to need to be confronted. It could be poor work ethic, breaking organizational values, underperformance, misrepresenting the organization, or it could even be a moral or ethical problem just to name a few. But who is the right person to have that difficult conversation when it needs to happen?

1. Who has built the most Trust?

Whoever has the most trust with the individual being confronted needs to lead out in the conversation. If there is any shot at the team member hearing what is being said and responding well to the challenging conversation there must be a foundation of trust. They must know that you care for them, that you believe in them, and that your intentions are pure (otherwise you wouldn’t be having the conversation). Trust gives you the latitude to have a difficult conversation and expect a great response.

2. Who are they going to hear from?

If you care about keeping the team member think about who is going to be the most clear with them in the conversation. I’ve seen countless times when a supervisor confronts or coaches a team member and the two walk away with very different versions of the situation due to the inability of, or discomfort that the supervisor had with clearly delivering challenging news. Clarity is king in confrontation. Make sure whoever is going to say it, says it clearly.

3. Who are they going to respond to?

The goal of confronting a team member is not to have them leave the team. That’s not confrontation or coaching, that’s called firing someone. The goal of confronting a team member is to have them respond in a positive manner to a negative behavior or situation. The goal is behavioral change right? So whom are they going to respond the best to? Let that person have the difficult conversation.

Last Thought: While ideally the team member’s supervisor would be the person who fits these three criteria, that’s not always the case (for a myriad of reasons). So sometimes having someone else in the room leading much of the conversation other than the supervisor isn’t such a bad idea.

Photo Credit: jetheriot via Compfight cc


Posted in Leadership, Staffing