Tag Archive - iq

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What makes Emotionally Intelligent Church Leaders Different?

The best church leaders don’t simply spend time learning new stuff about the bible, praying 24-7, discovering new management techniques or understanding organizational theory. They spend time on becoming better at the art of leading through relationships. After all relationships are both the glue and the grease that make work, happen.

And before you blow this post off and chalk it up to a bunch of business stuff being applied to church world…think again…this is all rooted in the Bible.

Emotionally Intelligent leaders are great at building effective interpersonal relationships with their team. Which is essentially the combination of being simultaneously self-aware and others focused.

But what are some things that these leaders actually do differently?

The Art of Timing

It’s a gift to say the right thing at the right time. The Bible puts it this way in Proverbs 15:23 “Everyone enjoys a fitting reply; it is wonderful to say the right thing at the right time!”

Emotionally intelligent leaders are disciplined with their words and craft their words intentionally. Not in a manipulative manner but in a way that serves people well. They don’t always say everything they see or feel for that matter. They are wise about giving people what they can handle or need at the time to help them move in the right direction.

Others Focused

Emotionally intelligent leaders are others focused. Both Jesus and the Apostle Paul linked spiritual maturity to living an others-oriented life. Jesus said, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

While Paul put it this way in Philippians 2:3-4 “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”

Emotionally intelligent leaders don’t focus on themselves they focus on the team, because they know that the team out performs the individual every time.

Self-Awareness

The best leaders I’ve ever been around are quick to take personal responsibility when things go wrong. Instead of looking outward and shifting blame they choose to shoulder the blame themselves. This takes a tremendous amount of confidence and self-awareness. And of course, the enemy of self-awareness is self-deception. Self-deception can be a dangerous thing. It can make you believe more or less about yourself than you should. You can even fool yourself into thinking more or less about others than you should. Emotionally intelligent leaders are sober minded, they know who they are, and they know who they’re not, and they do what’s best for the team. They are quick to take personal ownership when things go south and give out praise when things go well.

Jeremiah 17-9-10 “The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is? But I, the Lord, search all hearts and examine secret motives. I give all people their due rewards, according to what their actions deserve.”


Posted in Leadership

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The Dumbest thing that Emotionally Intelligent Leaders do

Emotional Intelligence will change the way you view yourself, the way you view others, and the way you go about your work. While I.Q. measures your intelligence, or the way you process information, E.Q. measures how effective someone is at interpersonal relationships. It is the unique combination of being simultaneously self-aware and others focused.

In today’s modern leadership environment, it is commonly accepted that people with a high E.Q. outperform people with a high I.Q. Every time. That’s because to get significant and meaningful work done it requires a team. The team outperform the individual every time, and to get a team working at a high level requires a high E.Q. Great leaders are great team leaders. They have the ability to make people on the team feel heard, valued, as though we can trust them, and that we actually want to follow them where they’re going. They are masterful at the art of relationships, and relationships are both the grease and the glue that make work happen.

But just because someone has a high E.Q. doesn’t mean they’re necessarily going to be a good leader. They may be talented but that doesn’t make them good. Those are two very different things. No amount of emotional intelligence will compensate for a fatal flaw of character. Void of character a high E.Q. will drive leaders towards manipulation instead of leadership.

Leadership = I want something for you

Manipulation = I want something from you

When emotionally intelligent leaders get these two confused and become unaware of which lane they are in their E.Q. quotient actually goes down. When they do it on purpose they turn into very dangerous people. When leaders allow the organization that they’re leading to begin serving them instead of them serving the organization they’re a part of, those leaders actually cripple both their leadership footprint and the mission impact of the organization that they’re leading. That’s the dumbest thing that an emotionally intelligent leader can do.


Posted in Leadership, Staffing

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Leadership Summit 2016: Dr. Travis Bradberry

Emotional Intelligence is often talked about but rarely understood. Yet it’s one of the most significant performance indicators that you can control that will determine the success or failure you find in your job. Bestselling Author and Co-Founder of TalentSmart, Dr. Travis Bradberry gave a great presentation that will help you raise your E.Q.

  • Emotional intelligence will change the way you view yourself, others, and the way you go about your work
  • I.Q. measures the rate at which you process information
  • E.Q. is the integration between our emotions and our reason
  • People with a high E.Q. out perform people with a high I.Q. 70% of the time

Self Awareness: is the ability to accurately recognize your emotions as they happen and understand your general tendencies for responding to different people and situations.

  • Awareness of your emotions in the moment
  • Awareness of your tendencies and responding to different people and situations
  • You spot it…you got it. In other words if you get irritated with others about stuff it’s usually a result of

Self Management: using awareness of your emotions to choose what you say and do, in order to positively direct your behavior.

Social Awareness: recognizing and understanding the emotions and perspectives of others.

  • Not just knowing what the other person is feeling but what they’re trying to communicating
  • Focusing on the other person more than yourself

Relationship Management: using awareness of your emotions and the emotions of others to manage interactions successfully.

  • Use the other 3 skills in concert
  • Aware of what’s going on in you, in the other person, and affect things for the positive
  • The biggest mistake that people make is to win the battle to lose the war (the overall quality of the relationship)
  • Increasing your EQ requires a lot of practice
  • 3 silver bullets everyone needs to work on
    • Get your stress under control
    • Clean up your sleep hygiene (don’t take anything that helps you sleep, no blue light in the evening,)
    • Get your caffeine intake under control

Posted in Leadership