The Art of Difficult Conversations

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The Art of Difficult Conversations

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

If you lead a team long enough, eventually there are going to be some difficult conversations that are going to happen. No one wants to have difficult conversations, there’s nothing fun about them. But if you care about the team and if you care about your teammates then eventually someone is going to need to be confronted. It could be poor work ethic, breaking organizational values, underperformance, misrepresenting the organization, or it could even be a moral or ethical problem just to name a few. But who is the right person to have that difficult conversation when it needs to happen?

**1. Who has built the most Trust?**

Whoever has the most trust with the individual being confronted needs to lead out in the conversation. If there is any shot at the team member hearing what is being said and responding well to the challenging conversation there must be a foundation of trust. They must know that you care for them, that you believe in them, and that your intentions are pure (otherwise you wouldn’t be having the conversation). Trust gives you the latitude to have a difficult conversation and expect a great response.

**2. Who are they going to hear from?**

If you care about keeping the team member think about who is going to be the most clear with them in the conversation. I’ve seen countless times when a supervisor confronts or coaches a team member and the two walk away with very different versions of the situation due to the inability of, or discomfort that the supervisor had with clearly delivering challenging news. Clarity is king in confrontation. Make sure whoever is going to say it, says it clearly.

**3. Who are they going to respond to?**

The goal of confronting a team member is not to have them leave the team. That’s not confrontation or coaching, that’s called firing someone. The goal of confronting a team member is to have them respond in a positive manner to a negative behavior or situation. The goal is behavioral change right? So whom are they going to respond the best to? Let that person have the difficult conversation.

Last Thought: While ideally the team member’s supervisor would be the person who fits these three criteria, that’s not always the case (for a myriad of reasons). So sometimes having someone else in the room leading much of the conversation other than the supervisor isn’t such a bad idea.

Photo Credit: jetheriot via Compfight cc

Posted in Leadership, Staffing

How to Identify Young Leaders in the Church

Sunday, August 17, 2014

Do a quick Google Search and you’ll find volumes written about this next generation entering the workforce. Much of it is written from a negative perspective. The search will tell you that this generation is entitled, lazy, they don’t follow through and they can’t be trusted with real responsibility. This trend has great implications for the modern day church. And while the researchers might be right, I still believe that there are great up and coming leaders in the next generation taking their place in the church today. Two reasons stand out and have convinced me.

#1 God has a mission for His Church. I’m convinced God is going to resource that mission and give his bride the Church everything she needs to see it through, which includes giving the church spiritual leaders.

#2 We need to do the hard work of looking for them. If God is going to do the work of resourcing His Church with the next generation of leaders, then it falls to us identify, develop and train them to take their place.

So, to that end here are 7 things to look for when identifying young leaders in the church:

Posted in Leadership, Spiritual Formation, Staffing

A Large Multisite Church in Phoenix is Hiring a Preteen Pastor

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

I’m pleased to announce a new Staff Search. Sun Valley Community Church, the church I have the honor of serving at, is beginning a national search for a Preteen Pastor to lead the ministry to 5th & 6th grade students on our Gilbert Campus. Sun Valley began as a church plant in 1990 in Chandler, Arizona. Over the years Sun Valley has grown into a large mult-site church in the Phoenix metro area. Currently there are three campuses located in Gilbert, Tempe and Casa Grande with a total weekend attendance of over 5,000 people. Sun Valley was recently named by Outreach Magazine as one of the top 10 fastest growing churches in America. The Gilbert Campus is the original and largest campus with well over 3,500 in weekly average attendance. Sun Valley was recently featured in a new book by Leadership Network about church mergers: Better Together: Making Church Mergers Work. To learn more about that story click here Part-1 and Part-2.

Interested in learning more? Continue reading below:

Posted in Staffing

Pastoring the Pastoral Staff at Your Church

Monday, June 2, 2014

In today’s forward moving churches many church leaders are so focused on what kind of performance they can get out of their Staff that they completely miss the point that their role is to invest in their Staff. It’s easy to get busy managing people, getting things done, and moving towards the vision. But if you’re so busy that you don’t have time to focus on discipleship, development and knowing the team then you run the risk of not only building a toxic culture on your church staff team but missing the real work God has called you to. At the end of the day the church is not a business, it’s the body of Christ. And listen, this is coming from a guy who loves goals, is addicted to progress and would much rather move further faster…but what does it matter if you get there, but you’re all alone, or worse, you’ve left a pile of dead bodies in your wake. If you’re having a difficult time figuring out how to Pastor your church staff while moving towards the goals and vision of the church at the same time then this simple list should help you.

1. Pray

It may sound elementary, but you’d be surprised how many church staff teams simply don’t pray together. On my team we take the time weekly to pray for the needs of the church for a few moments in staff meeting and I regularly start my monthly coaching meetings with individual team members in prayer together.

2. Play

Relationships are the both the glue and the grease that make work possible. Strong relationships minimize friction and keep the team close together. For me, that means I have to like my team, which in turn means we’ve got to spend time together. That’s why I do a couple of nights a year at my house where I get the team together, we’ve blown off work to go bowling, we’ve even been known to shoot skeet at during an offsite (please – all of my pacifist friends don’t hate). I firmly believe that teams that play together, stay together.

3. Spiritual Health Days

One of the better practices that we’ve developed is what we call “Spiritual Health Days.” These are a couple of half days that we build in through out the year where we literally give our staff a half day to complete a set of prepared spiritual exercises and then have lunch with another team member unpacking their experience. Here’s a link to the most recent Spiritual Health Day that we did. Feel free to use this tool with your team.

4. Development Planning

If you know anything about me you know that I believe you get what you plan for. That’s why each of my team members writes down an annual development plan in the form of goals, both professional and personal in nature. We not only talk about these when they’re put into writing but they’re measured through out the year.

Leave a comment; I’d love to hear about what you’ve done to pastor the pastoral staff at your church!

Posted in Leadership, Spiritual Formation, Staffing

5 Articles that will Help You Make Vision Real

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Thank you for making April a great month here at Helping Churches Make Vision Real! It’s great staying connected with you through social media and hearing about how helpful different articles have been. So, thank you for connecting with me through the content on this blog! You made these the top 5 Posts from this last month. If you missed out on any of them, here they are all in one place for your convenience!

#1 When to Add Another Worship Service at Your Church

Many churches are stuck in attendance simply because they haven’t maximized their current facilities and campus. Thinking about adding another worship service at your church? Here are five strategic concepts to consider before you do. Not sure if multiple worship services are right for your church? Check out this blog on Overcoming the Fear of Moving to Multiple Worship Services.

#2 My Interview with 5 Sr. Pastors Leading Multisite Churches of 5,000+

Recently I had the opportunity to sit down and interview 5 Sr. Pastors who are all leading multiste churches ranging in attendance from 5,000 to more than 15,000. Among other things we had a very candid conversation about momentum, multisite, developing young leaders, and the courage it takes to lead at a high level.

#3 5 Reasons I Would Hire You

One of the most enjoyable things I get to do is to recruit and on-board new team members. Hire the right person and the whole team benefits. When you invite the right person to join your team not only is there an infusion of new talent, but also new ideas, fresh eyes, and a new well of experiences to go to. One new hire can literally improve the performance of the entire team. Below are five characteristics that I’m looking for when I’m hiring someone or helping churches make the next right hire. I’m not sure if these are what most high-powered companies, or even what most churches are looking for in their next hires. But if they’re not, they’re making a big mistake.

#4 Church Budgeting Survey

In working with churches across the country one of the reoccurring points of tension that comes up is church budgeting. “How do we build our budget in a manner that is fiscally responsible and at the same time helps us move towards our vision?” “What are standard benchmarks in church world regarding building a healthy church budget?” The truth is while you can find a lot of principles out there about church budgeting there’s not a lot of hard data that is easily accessible for the average church. That’s why I’m conducting some informal research on church budgeting, and I’m hoping that you may be able to help.

#5 “The One Thing” 2014 Ministry Report

I’m pleased to announce that The One Thing 2014 Ministry Report eBook has recently been released! Not just because I wrote a chapter on “Making Vision Real,” but because Darren Herbold took the time to mine out some great insights from some of the best church leaders on the scene today. Subscribe to my blog posts to get your free copy!

Posted in Leadership, Staffing

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