I can’t believe Lisa and I just celebrated 16 years of marriage! It feels like everything is going in fast forward these days! The relationship is getting richer and I’m learning to soak up incredible moments that I would have skimmed over just a few years ago. While I could write out a grocery list of the things I’ve learned through the years, here are the three that are at the forefront currently:
1. When you love someone, you love what he or she loves
In the book of Philippians the Apostle Paul puts it this way: “Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” As we mature in our relationship with Christ and our spouse that maturity drives us towards love and love is the opposite of self-centeredness. Marriage simply isn’t about us, and the deeper that truth sinks in the better our marriage becomes.
2. The depth of love in a relationship shows up in the subtleties
Anybody can plan big the moments and save up and drop a lot of dough on a special occasion. But it’s the everyday glances, touches, words, tone, body language and subtleties that set the temperature of a marriage. Do the small stuff everyday.
3. The Principle of Compounding Interest
Nobody’s marriage falls apart overnight. Just like no one builds a great marriage overnight. It takes a commitment to consistent behavior demonstrated over an extended period of time. To rip off a line from Denzel Washington in Remember the Titans, “It’s like Novocain, just give it time, it always works.” The payoff comes from consistently doing the right thing everyday.
Interested in more tips on marriage and learning from my mistakes? Check out 14 Lessons from 14 Years of Marriage
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